Some good ones recently...... this one from Slates homie in the Bourne.
Please break my heart and buy my Kelly Slater-signed surfboard - $2,000 (Tanasbourne)
TechBro?
In 2012, I was a young surfer with big dreams and too much disposable income. I bought a brand new 5’ 11” surfboard for $3,200 that Kelly Slater auctioned off to benefit the Dan Wheldon memorial trust. I’ll add the tweets of me getting it and Kelly congratulating me on it. (One of the Twitter pics is weird because I had to search for his reply on my laptop vs. my phone.)
It has stood in my bedroom exactly where it is in the pictures for the past nine years inspiring many good dreams. I don’t know what the little markings are on the upper sides - maybe where it’s stuck to the wall while it’s sat for years until I move it to vacuum around it? They’re not dings - I think I could scrape it off my with fingernails, but I haven’t wanted to screw with it and risk hurting it. I lost the fin key, but still have the fins that came with it. Obviously, it’s never been waxed or touched water - it’s still completely brand new. And beautiful. And signed by the Legend himself.
I’m now older and I need the money for things like rent and car maintenance. Please break my heart and buy this SOB so I can start the grieving process.
Routine is a vampire. Manu Chao-