by Major Lazer » Tue Jul 21, 2020 3:53 pm
Been exercising my freedom, protesting, and defending public beaches at the epicenter, the memorial to Oregon’s free beaches, OSWALD WEST STATE PARK! You see the Feds have sent in their jackboots, small framed fit 20 somethings with Volcom Ts, Van skate shoe’s, and trucker hats. They march in and don’t seem to mask up on the trail endangering other surfers and the local communities of the Coast. These Fed-bot surfer bois seem to make the most of the small fluffy thin-lipped wind swell on SoCal shaped HPSBs (Lost, Channel Islands, Hayden) perhaps with relaxed rockers, paddling around the lineup using tactics that do not represent the Aloha surfing was founded on. When they do catch waves they try to slash and brutalize the slopey green faces pumping franticly and gassing anyone in the way. Me, middle aged, midlength man, has come out of months of Covid quarantine despite the number cases skyrocketing to man the front line up trying to resist and stop these wave hogging tyrants. I paddle into these packs and break them up by smiling, gliding into waves, and inviting others to join me for one big party wave trimming a relaxed line that just screams MELLOW OUT MAN. Don’t let the media fool you, they’ve framed me as a terrorist, but I assure you what I am doing is for the good of all. I will not stop or listen to anyone with a different opinion until the beaches are free of these tyrants, major surf companies are defunded, tech tycons stop surfing, and surfboards are no longer manufactured overseas!
Routine is a vampire. Manu Chao-