Kook Test

[Bison]

*adapted from Surfer Mag's Wilbur Kookmeyer*

Kook: n. A rank beginner, novice, barney, dweeb, spaz, squid, pseudo surfer, poser, pretender, goon, etc.
"any surfer thought to be in violation of surfing's complex unwritten code of conduct"
The Encyclopedia of Surfing (matt Warshaw)

Are you one??? Take the difinitive test....

1. Do you use odd numbers, such as 7, 9, 11, or 13, when describing wave size?

2. Do you wear booties and a hood with a springsuit?

3.Do you wear your wetty to Arch Cape Market for beer?

4. Have you been fired from any job for being on OSP too much?

5. Do you get your only surf forcast from OSP?

6. Do you give a play-by-play description of your last wave to complete strangers at Shorties?

7. Do you get egoed out when you catch every wave on your 11-foot long 4-inch plank? (be honest)

8. Do you paddle straight out at an obscure Oregon beach break and sit right next to the only other guy in the water?

9. Have you ever said "dude", "gnarly", "rad", or "stoked" in the same sentence?

10. Do you strap your board onto your car nose first wax up?

11. Do you practice your stance in front of a mirror?

12. Have you been in a Coast Guard helicopter?

13. On average do you spend more time on OSP each week than you do in the water?



Ok, now count the number of questions that you answered yes to and take the poll.

[holddown]

Edit: OK, I'll play...

1. Do you use odd numbers, such as 7, 9, 11, or 13, when describing wave size?
Yes, I say it's 3ft all the time in the summer

2. Do you wear booties and a hood with a springsuit?
What's a springsuit?

3.Do you wear your wetty to Arch Cape Market for beer?
I sometimes put on my suit at home and stop at the store for something, so Yes.

4. Have you been fired from any job for being on OSP too much?
Not yet

5. Do you get your only surf forcast from OSP?
No.

6. Do you give a play-by-play description of your last wave to complete strangers at Shorties?
Only when I hit someone

7. Do you get egoed out when you catch every wave on your 11-foot long 4-inch plank? (be honest)
No. I get egoed by size, not quantity

8. Do you paddle straight out at an obscure Oregon beach break and sit right next to the only other guy in the water?
Yes, when my stoked gnarly dude bud gets to the obscure rad break first

9. Have you ever said "dude", "gnarly", "rad", or "stoked" in the same sentence?
Yes, all of the above

10. Do you strap your board onto your car nose first wax up?
No.

11. Do you practice your stance in front of a mirror?
No.

12. Have you been in a Coast Guard helicopter?
Yes, but at an airshow

13. On average do you spend more time on OSP each week than you do in the water?
No.

14. Do you post responses to kook tests?
Yes

15. Do you let your dog run free and poop while you are surfing and not check for land mines when you get out?
No, but if you want to see a bunch of dogs running loose, go to the Rogue contest this weekend

OK, I count 6 including the helicopter

[Dr Sloth]

9. Have you ever said "dude", "gnarly", "rad", or "stoked" in the same sentence?

This is an unfare question for someone who grew up a surfer in the 80's. Be honest all you late 30 somethings and 40 somethings. You can call me a kook for this but lets go out in the water and see who's the kook.

[Wilbur Kookmeyer]

1. Do you use odd numbers, such as 7, 9, 11, or 13, when describing wave size?

No.

2. Do you wear booties and a hood with a springsuit?

LMAO! No.

3.Do you wear your wetty to Arch Cape Market for beer?

Is the mercedes in the lot?

4. Have you been fired from any job for being on OSP too much?

Not yet.....

5. Do you get your only surf forcast from OSP?

Yes.....LOL!

6. Do you give a play-by-play description of your last wave to complete strangers at Shorties?

No...I assume they were paying attention.

7. Do you get egoed out when you catch every wave on your 11-foot long 4-inch plank? (be honest)

Yes. But then again..I get "egoed" for everything I do.

8. Do you paddle straight out at an obscure Oregon beach break and sit right next to the only other guy in the water?

Is Indian considered "obscure"?

9. Have you ever said "dude", "gnarly", "rad", or "stoked" in the same sentence?

No...but you just did.

10. Do you strap your board onto your car nose first wax up?

i don;t strap it to my car at all.

11. Do you practice your stance in front of a mirror?

Which one? Cat stance? Horse stance? Hey baby I'm gonna mount you stance?

12. Have you been in a Coast Guard helicopter?

No.

13. On average do you spend more time on OSP each week than you do in the water?

Yes. then again..I spend more time on the OSP than i do breathing.

[Fish]

Funny stuff Wilbur

[Bison]

Still amazed that surfers don't pick up their dogs poop.

they aren't surfers...they're kooks

#15 Do you let your dog run free and poop while you are surfing and not check for land mines when you get out?

Unfortunately this pushes me into the 5-8 catagory....

[Bison]

ummmmm...haha I was just kidding.

[Doc]

1. Do you use odd numbers, such as 7, 9, 11, or 13, when describing wave size?

I have used the number 3, 5, 7, etc...but not exclusively?

2. Do you wear booties and a hood with a springsuit?

I have worn booties with trunks...had my reasons

3.Do you wear your wetty to Arch Cape Market for beer?

No...did see a guy at Grateful Bread in PC in his suit looking around hopefully that someone would notice

4. Have you been fired from any job for being on OSP too much?

Not yet

5. Do you get your only surf forcast from OSP?

No

6. Do you give a play-by-play description of your last wave to complete strangers at Shorties?

No

7. Do you get egoed out when you catch every wave on your 11-foot long 4-inch plank? (be honest)

Don't have an 11'4"...yet.

8. Do you paddle straight out at an obscure Oregon beach break and sit right next to the only other guy in the water?

I have...I was thankful to find someone else out. They were thankful I paddled out too.

9. Have you ever said "dude", "gnarly", "rad", or "stoked" in the same sentence?

I have said all of them...probably only "dude" & "stoked" with any frequency over the past decade bro

10. Do you strap your board onto your car nose first wax up?

In the car

11. Do you practice your stance in front of a mirror?

I stand sideways in front of he mirror and mutter occasionally

12. Have you been in a Coast Guard helicopter?

Yes...not a rescue situation thankfully...an airshow

13. On average do you spend more time on OSP each week than you do in the water?

Probably...I (ego?) am a moderator

So I got a 6...not an odd number. Do I get prize?

Doc

[Bison]

just pretend you were kidding

[Doc]

Thanks Bison

Now I am worried about my status

First, I'm a liberal...now I'm a kook

Do

[Bison]

do what?

[Fish]

he fergot the ock

[Doc]

Doh!

Doc

[Bison]

#16 do you sometimes spell your name wrong?

[To'skookin]

nose forward does not equal bad - better air flow.
fin down hahaha - only if you don't need wax. And, that can be a good thing. hahaha good luck