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What pisses me off...........

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Why I don't post here anymore--I can't surf

Postby Temperance » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:03 pm

I've paddled out at Ticla, Nexpa, Agate Beach winter surf. Really big waves. Ten foot hollow fast-breaking shite with a bunch of Brazilian hotshot bodyboarders. But I suck at surfing. I could get out there, sure. I knew how to avoid the people (99.9% guys) who were actually riding waves. But as soon as I paddle for one, it's front foot flat, back knee stuck on the board. The right knee of my wetsuit is coated in wax.

I never get the bottom turn. By the time I stabilize and pull myself to my feet, I just pray there is something left for me to try and get a little carve. Every time: Knee, curse. Knee, curse. When I was going out all the time, I could pull off a passable pigdog.... because I could use my knee. Worked well for those late take-off backside drops.

My partner (later turned 1st husband) at the time I was learning this horrible habit would warn me, "You are going to hate yourself. Once that's your habit you won't be able to break it!". Problem was, I had just spent 40 minutes paddling all the way to the outside, 20 minutes resting, another half hour waiting for the "perfect wave" (read: with a soft shoulder for me to hop on), and goddamnit if I weren't going to ride that thing however I possibly could without falling off and risking getting pushed in again. I didn't listen to him, and now, almost 15 years later, I'm hating myself.

I blame the way I went about learning. I didn't know anyone else learning to surf, and no one offered me any advice. I went to the beach with surfers. They paddled out, so I did too. Years later, I'm sitting on the beach in Bali in-between my sessions (Knee, curse. Knee, curse) watching Australians teach their kids to surf, and they are NOT paddling all the way out. They are doing the same thing I see surf schools doing now, which is practicing pop-ups on the inside. Duh.
But I've been surfing for ten years, how embarrassing to play around in the white water with the newbies, right? I have my pride. Knee, curse. Knee, curse. Another wave blown.

One husband later (that's two, for those who are counting), I've got an Iowa farm boy that I want to want to surf. I already got him over the hump of beginning snowboarding, and that's a hell of a lot easier to learn, so he's got his confidence up. I take this 40 year old man (who fortunately at least knows how to swim) into the whitewater. No further than he can touch, and we practice pop-ups. I purchase my first long board, and I practice pop-ups.

When I can finally go straight to my feet on the long board (still in the whitewater), I'm nice enough to let him use it. I switch to my 7'10", on the inside. I stand next to my board, launch myself forward, and push both my feet underneath me. 95% of the time I am too far to one side or another, or I barely get both feet on the back of the board, and I fall just like all the other people out there for their first time. As soon as I think I've got it, I paddle to the outside, catch a wave and go straight to my knee again. Jesus effing christ.

Fifteen years, and I suck @ss. I'm not giving up. I am slowly improving, and some day I swear I will catch a wave, go straight to BOTH feet, and ride that wave like I know I can. And I'll probably write a post to tell you all about it.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Doc » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:47 pm

Do you know how to do burpees? The popup is basically the burpee with a little twist and no jumping jack. Easy to practice on dry land and tougher to do on a surfboard obviously but do not go to the knee ever.

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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby X-squid » Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:48 pm

...having my surf buddy bail on me last minute this morning and sap all my motivation to paddle out. I'm just hoping it sucked.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Temperance » Fri Sep 06, 2013 4:20 pm

Doc, I do know how to do burpees, and I've practiced popups on land. I'll keep doing it, but should get into a habit of doing it consistently to try and unlearn my horrible habit. And yes, don't ever go to my knee. I know that NOW.
My other ideas was to put a pin through my wetsuit right over my knee.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Tex » Fri Sep 06, 2013 5:12 pm

My pops suck too...for what it is worth.
Of all my friends, my pop is the worst, they all give me shite about it after every session.

I have accepted it as my singular fatal flaw in surfing =)
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby noparking » Mon Sep 09, 2013 5:29 pm

Things that piss me off... forgetting my password for here, job keeping me from the things i enjoy the most, days getting shorter, turing a year older and having little to nothing to show for it.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Critter » Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:40 pm

Your knee pisses me off I have never sat here and read a post so knee centric before! I am so mad at your knee right now I could just about beat my own knees with a heavy rock!
Your knee is on my hit list If I see you out weebly wobbly on your knee there is no telling what I might do! Effin knee! :mrgreen:
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby X-squid » Fri Oct 18, 2013 6:57 am

Getting hella sick during the week and having to work on my usual Friday off! I'm not even supposed to be here today!
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Spent » Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:52 pm

" i can't see you but i know you're there." if you don't know where that quote comes from, you piss me off.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Betty » Fri Jan 17, 2014 7:48 pm

Temprence, try practicing your blowjob stance, the one where you don't swallow and see what that does for your pop up.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Temperance » Tue Jan 21, 2014 4:40 pm

Thanks for the advice, Betty.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Doc » Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:00 pm

I'm curious about this stance.
Can I help?

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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Paul Dresman » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:19 pm

Running ads for Trans-Canada pipeline on the Oregon Surf page may be profitable, but it certainly isn't the ethical and moral thing to do, not in a world where global warming is a reality. As a surfer, one's respect for nature should take precedence over profit.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Spent » Sat Apr 05, 2014 11:15 am

Paul Dresman wrote:Running ads for Trans-Canada pipeline on the Oregon Surf page may be profitable, but it certainly isn't the ethical and moral thing to do, not in a world where global warming is a reality. As a surfer, one's respect for nature should take precedence over profit.


I didn't see that, but right on for calling it out, Paul.
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Re: What pisses me off...........

Postby Tex » Sun Apr 06, 2014 3:28 pm

Agreed....poor form OSP.
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