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Joke Of The Day

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Postby turtle » Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:03 am

what's the difference between a hippy chick and a hockey team???

a hockey team showers after 3 periods.
life is short... paddle hard.
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Postby SoyAvenger » Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:02 pm

an old man went to a resort for his 85th birthday. his friends all chip in to get him a hooker. she shows up at his room and tells him, "i'm here to give you super sex." the old man thinks a bit and says, "i'll take the soup, ma'am..."

why does a chicken coop have two doors?

if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan.
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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Postby MMA Guy » Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:14 pm

Great, now I have to hit the gym to work off your bad jokes.
I can't articulate very well? How about I articulate your stupid face?
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Postby SoyAvenger » Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:33 am

lets be honest, you were hittin the gym anyway
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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Postby Gazsurf » Sun Jun 28, 2009 2:52 pm

SoyAvenger wrote:lets be honest, you were hittin the gym anyway


He walks into the door at the gym, does that count??
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Postby SoyAvenger » Sun Jun 28, 2009 4:47 pm

whats the best thing about twenty nine year old girls?

theres twenty of them!
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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Postby SoyAvenger » Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:15 pm

what do you call a comatose homosexual?

a full serving of fruit and vegetables!


whats the difference between michael jackson and a grocery bag?

ones white, plastic, and poses a danger to children, and the others a grocery bag! (RIP Jacko)
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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Postby SoyAvenger » Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:16 pm

a priest, a rabbi and a minister walk passed a playground, the minister says "hey, lets go screw one of those little girls." the priest says "good idea, lets screw one of those little boys, too!" the rabbi turns to them and says, "screw 'em outta what?"
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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Postby bluesilver » Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:05 am

Ferrah Faucett (sp?) died and went to heaven.
God siad he would grant her one wish.
After careful thought she says "I wish for all the children in the world to be safe."

And god killed Michael Jackson.
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Postby Snow2Sea » Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:08 am

Nice!
Boardriding is about timing and style...It’s youthful, active, casual, and free flowing. There is no wrong way to ride a board. The goal is simply to learn, progress, improve, and give it your own interpretation.
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Postby Dano » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:47 pm

bluesilver wrote:Ferrah Faucett (sp?) died and went to heaven.
God siad he would grant her one wish.
After careful thought she says "I wish for all the children in the world to be safe."

And god killed Michael Jackson.


since you went there...

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson & Disney films ?..... Disney films can still touch children

Due to the fact that Michael was 99% plastic he will be melted down into Lego blocks so that liitle kids can play with him for a change

Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to hospital..."Put me on the children's ward".

Jockeys at tomorrows horse race in Del Mar will wear black armbands out of respect for Jacko who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in living memory

It has been announced that micheal jacksons death was not caused by cardiac arrest. He died of food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts.

what a coincidence that Farah Fawcett & Michael Jackson died on the same day. One got involved with Majors and t'other with minors!!

did you know its not true that michael jackson died of a heart attack- because he was in the childrens ward having a stroke!

Mixed reports of Michael Jacksons death are coming In. 50 kids have volunteered to identify his body as they have had 1s hand experience of seeing him stiff!

what is the difference between grocery bags and Michael Jackson? One is plastic and not safe for kids to play with, and the other is a grocery bag
humbled!
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Postby bluesilver » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:58 pm

those are grosser than mine.
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Postby Hermgruf » Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:15 pm

deleting all my posts.
Last edited by Hermgruf on Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby SoyAvenger » Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:39 pm

some ahole lawyers driving to his vacation home and stops for gas in some podunk hick town, the station attendant sees him pull up and says "dang-o! what kinda car is that?" the lawyer looks down his nose and says, "audi" the attendant says "ya, howdy, now what kinda car is that?"

four college students are driving back from tj after spring break, an oregonian, an idahoan, a wisconsinean, and a californian. suddenly the idahoan in the passenger seat grabs a bag of potatoes and throws them out the window. the others stare in confusion, "theres too many of those in my state, im not bringin another back!" the wisconsinean says, "i like the way you think," and chucks a wheel of cheese out the drivers window. the oregonian says, "i like the way you think," reaches across the californian, opens the door, and kicks him out.
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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Postby SoyAvenger » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:10 pm

if you have a bad cough, eat a handful of laxatives before bed, in the morning you'll be too afraid to cough
doing a good deed is like pissing in your wetsuit, you get a warm feeling but no one else notices
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