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Gaz, that one is brilliant

Why don't the Brits make computers?




They haven't figured out how to make them leak oil, yet.

Your animation was showing the guy spitting at the women while he was drinking martinis as I was reading your joke.

Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave,
Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk
your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening,
I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands
over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So, Here I am.

Me to Dr: I’ve hurt my penis in a surfing accident.
Dr: Did you fall off your board?
Me: No I slammed my laptop shut when the wife walked in.

classic

Best joke of the day, I looked in the mirror.