Help, I Want to Boogie Board!

[Howly Wolf]

Mahalo you freakin surfers... You god damn nerds...

Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Not sure what came over me!

It's been awhile since I rapped at you and hope you all are doing well. Been a strange spring for me-- while I've had my fair share of surfs, I've had even more slides. Yes, as Major Lazer observed a few years back, I've become "a paipo guy now". Lately, I've been having waaay more fun doing that than getting to my feet and wiggling. It's been liberating in many ways, which I won't bore you with here, but has also led to a problematic development: A slight interest in sponging.

Please help talk me out of this!

Let me be clear, I would much rather surf if waves are good or otherwise slide the plank. My interest in the sponge is more about the spots it opens up-- spots i would probably not surf, but on a small day would be fun on the belly with enough foam to provide a measure of comfort between myself and what lurks below.

And let's face it, boogie boards are fun in all conditions, so why not embrace it?

See look how I'm talking?! HELP!!!!

[Foul Pete]

I won't talk you out of shite. I'm backing it.

There's a couple of spots, I'd love to sponge.

Surfing is the kookiest damn thing these days. You will win, while others scrap over BS.

[BOX]

It's been awhile since I rapped at you!

Jim Anchower, is that you? https://theonion.com/for-a-few-months-i-had-it-all-1819584698/

You'll get no hate from me, either. Seems a lot of peeps will trash on body boarders then go belly a ride in after a session and pretend it's not fun.

And as long as people are having fun (not at the expense of others), then wtf should I care? As your above-quoted Kenny Powers would say, "we're all part of the tribe" so go ttty fck that wave

[Tex]

I spent years fostering a deep had for SUP'ers....now I am like, why the hell not?!?? So roll with the sponge if that is your calling bro!

[Tex]

I spent years fostering a deep hate for SUP'ers....now I am like, why the hell not?!?? So roll with the sponge if that is your calling bro!

[Major Lazer]

Sounds like you’ve been couch locked at “Newport Surf Shop” bro.

Have noticed more body boarders in recent years despite a lack of legit shories. Sand was pilled up pretty good in a few spots this spring thou.

[Howly Wolf]

What gracious responses... Has the OSP embraced a kinder, gentler approach to wave riding?

Hardly. CHAOS AGENTS, the lot of you! Clearly, you're leading me astray on the path of a lower power. An obvious gambit to ensure I'm the bait should any large fish enter the lineup. Gah!

[Doc]

Started out surfing...
Then body surfing (with Duck Feet, not Churchill's)...
Did some surfmat sliding...
All the while surfing shorter and shorter boards...
Then in 7th grade (circa 1975)...
Paddled out on a new fangled prototype from this guy Tom Morey...
As far as I know they were the original pieces of foam...
They were insanely fun.
I have a smaller bodyboard in the garage but I've only ever ridden the full size model...
I have also taken out 5'6"ish fish with fins (Churchhill's! on big dayswith limited success...
But the potential is there...
And I wonder how many summers I have left at this point in my mid 60's...
15? 20? How many of those will I be able to pop (or stagger) to my feet?
Maybe be ready to embrace a more proned out world...
Or go full Mickey Munoz and SUP like an old mad man!
I do worry that the seal like profile is worrisome but...
At least you wouldn't have to worry about getting older!
Doc